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Sunday, June 17, 2012

Dads

Parenting is an interesting thing.  We can do it poorly and ruin our children.  We can do it poorly and they turn out great despite our worst efforts.  We can do it well and it doesn't reflect in their behaviors.  We can do it well and they turn out great.

What to do??????

I read this article the other day in the Calgary Herald.
http://www.calgaryherald.com/business/real+estate/Daddy+dearest+Fathers+equally+important+more+kids+moms+study/6782706/story.html

In general I think fathers get a bad wrap; some of them rightly so, but there are some mothers out there who should probably not reproduce either.  But advertisers and entertainment often portray dads as dimwits and not capable of much or as disposable and unnecessary in the child raising process.  Society buys into that.

Now I may be inclined to debate a couple of points in the article, but overall I think it was pretty bang on.  We need our fathers and we need them present and active in our lives.

My dad was present.  I hate to say that I was lucky, but too many people have crossed paths with me who did not have that same experience.  I comfortably state that some of their choices and self image were a direct result of an absent or unloving father.  In some cases they were neglected or rejected.  In some, they were just not considered part of the father's responsibility.

I'd like to think that every generation eliminates one bad habit of the previous generation.  My hope is that my boys are better parents than Sean and I.  Yet I know that doesn't always happen.  Sometimes the cycle just continues because no one knows how to get off the ride.

As I said in my Mother's Day post, the woman who gives birth to us is not the only mother figure we will have in our lives.  It's the same with fathers.  Fatherhood is a powerful thing.  A father's love, like a mother's, shapes who we are.  We need both.  I have yet to meet a person whose mother's love completely made up for a father's lack.


This guy is making sure his generation is better and I love him for it.

Love you tons.

I couldn't do it without you.  The boys couldn't do it without you.

Happy Father's Day.

2 comments:

ABDO said...

LOVE it.

dkstewfam said...

Well done Mama Deb! I will be a faithful follower of your column when you start it.
Happy Dads Day Sean... a little late.