I have a list of things to do, but I can't get out of this chair. The boys are asleep, except Jared who is now eating (shovelling) Mini-Wheats. There is a cool wind outside. I had a nice run early this morning. I've updated my calendar and I have a better chance of not forgetting something now. I had breakfast. I've read blogs (some of you need to update yours!!!!!)
This afternoon I am back to the bank for who knows how long. My contract is done with the school district and I've said my good-byes to some great staff and some darling kids........some of whom are etched into my mind and heart and I worry for them. I loved them.
So back to the bank it is. I'm back to full time. I'm back to wanting to move forward. And if I can't go forward.....perhaps more transition ahead. It's been thirteen years since I worked full days. My feelings are mixed. There's that push and pull that comes with motherhood. There's the guilt. But I looked at my boys. Apart from Jackson, I leave after they leave and I get home an hour after they get home. Jackson leaves for school minutes after I leave for work. I looked at my boys and I saw level headed, responsible young men. I talked to my boys. They support me.
I get enough vacation time to take some of it for their school activities and still have enough for the big stuff. I just have to stick to my priorities and stand firm. It feels easier to do that now than it did when James was a baby. Perhaps times and attitudes have changed a bit.
So here I sit on my chair. Jared has disappeared.....probably to the basement to conquer something Xbox-ish. It's quiet. Soon that list must be tackled then the race begins. If only I could slow down time.......