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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Quiet Summer Morning

I have a list of things to do, but I can't get out of this chair.  The boys are asleep, except Jared who is now eating (shovelling) Mini-Wheats.  There is a cool wind outside.  I had a nice run early this morning.  I've updated my calendar and I have a better chance of not forgetting something now.  I had breakfast.  I've read blogs (some of you need to update yours!!!!!)

This afternoon I am back to the bank for who knows how long.  My contract is done with the school district and I've said my good-byes to some great staff and some darling kids........some of whom are etched into my mind and heart and I worry for them.  I loved them.

So back to the bank it is.  I'm back to full time.  I'm back to wanting to move forward.  And if I can't go forward.....perhaps more transition ahead.  It's been thirteen years since I worked full days.  My feelings are mixed.  There's that push and pull that comes with motherhood.  There's the guilt.  But I looked at my boys.  Apart from Jackson, I leave after they leave and I get home an hour after they get home.  Jackson leaves for school minutes after I leave for work.  I looked at my boys and I saw level headed, responsible young men.  I talked to my boys.  They support me.

I get enough vacation time to take some of it for their school activities and still have enough for the big stuff.  I just have to stick to my priorities and stand firm.  It feels easier to do that now than it did when James was a baby.  Perhaps times and attitudes have changed a bit.

So here I sit on my chair.  Jared has disappeared.....probably to the basement to conquer something Xbox-ish.  It's quiet.  Soon that list must be tackled then the race begins.  If only I could slow down time.......

1 comment:

ABDO said...

it's hard to sit still and enjoy a quiet summer morning when you know time marches on. You've got some good boys, mama deb!...probably because they have a good mama :)