I already started on my goal. Running. I am not a runner. I was never particularly athletic as a child. So why now?
I'm turning 40 this year. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I have a thing for tattoos, but I'm not getting one. So I thought to myself, how can I celebrate this milestone and still put my body through the ringer? Running. So this past fall I started to run.
Actually it was this past spring when I started considering it. Jared was training for his kid's marathon and participating in the running club at school. I was running with him and coaching him so he wouldn't fall apart. I started thinking that this was something I could maybe do and I had friends who were regular runners. There was a support system.
This fall I started running with a group. They get up early. We run and get home before the rest of our families are up. My routine usually includes watching the majority of the group disappear in front of me, but I have some great running buddies who stay with me and we carry on.
I've set some goals for this year; the big one being running a half marathon in the fall. I know it's something I can do if I train. I'm not writing it in stone, though. If I can run a 10k this year then I am happy.
There has been a therapeutic aspect to this running business too. So far I have not experienced injury and it's probably because I don't push myself too hard.....just hard enough to go a little further from time to time. I have some control in this activity. I can choose to overdo it or not. I can choose to get up to run or not. My improvements are dependent on me. If I fail to accomplish what I am setting out to do it will be on my shoulders for the most part.
The last few years I have often felt like life was out of my control. I don't like that. It goes against my nature. I can't control the fact that Jared has an ASD and all that goes with it. I can't change it or make it better. I can't control the fact that all my boys are growing up and getting more independent and sometimes lippy. I can't control what others around me choose to do when I so often think I have good suggestions and no one cares to listen or just disregards me.
Yes, I know I have control over my attitude. I don't need that lecture from anyone.
Running has made me feel like I have control over something and I'm not inflicting my control issues over anyone but myself. It's felt good. And this year I am turning 40......can't control aging either, but I do embrace this.
So this year I run. I will even pay money to run. Here's my money. Let me inflict some pain on myself!!!!!