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Friday, January 29, 2010

....and then there were three. At least for one night.

James is winter camping. James is not a camping kinda guy. He's a stay where it's warm and play my guitar and play video games kinda guy. He's an if I have to go do something outdoorsy then I am going to whine and complain about going until the bitter end kinda guy.

I'm a get your gear together and get a good night's rest kinda mom. I'm a don't hurt yourself when we push you and your gear out of the van in the morning at the meeting place because we may not actually come to a full stop kinda mom. I'm a I am fairly certain you won't freeze to death so suck it up kinda mom.

I am also a probably would never go winter camping unless I was forced to kinda mom. Which also makes me a yes I would force my children to do things I would never do kinda mom. And  I don't care if that makes me a hypocrite kinda mom because it's my job to open you up to character building experiences.

I hope his character is built up a smidgen on this overnight winter camp.....and that he doesn't actually freeze to death.

I'm still an I will make you do things whether you like it or not and silently worry about you until you get home kinda mom.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Professional Changes and Exploration

I want to blog regularly. I really do. I'm really trying. But with no more renos and kids in mental wards and no more flooding and life going relatively smoothly, what is there to blog about????? The boys rarely say anything cute anymore. It's more on the sassy side.

It dawned on me that I may have neglected to blog about my new line of work. I've been in banking for almost 19 years and have wanted to try something different for a long time. So in December I resigned, agreeing to remain as a casual employee and started working for the school district here as a substitute educational assistant.

I don't have schooling for it, but I figured that 9 years of raising an undiagnosed autistic child and three other rambunctious boys and volunteering at schools and working with children at church gave me more practical experience than most edumacated folk. I applied last summer and got an interview in the fall. Now I am subbing and at some point I hope to get a permanent position somewhere.

It's been an interesting experience thus far. I can say that some kids break my heart. They get no support from anyone and you can almost see the writing on the wall for them if things don't change drastically. Some kids amaze me. Some teachers disappoint me and some impress me.

Quote of the week: Preschool boy - "When I grow up I want to be a human being."
We should all aspire to that.

I worked at a preschool last week for a day. I guess I made a good impression. They are filling a position there and asked if I was interested. I doubt I will take that one, but it was nice to be asked.

So we shall see where this takes me. Perhaps back to school for a special ed. program. Who knows. It's been nice to be able to pick up my own children from school and participate in their activities again. I missed that while at the bank.

The days I don't get a call in are hard. I never know what to do with myself. I am so used to being out of the house. I am sure that will resolve itself. There's lots to do around here.....just don't want to do it!!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Year of the Run - Not on the Chinese Zodiac

I don't make new year resolutions. I don't like them. I think they are an open invitation to failure. My philosophy is simple.......why do I have to set a start date on a resolution or goal? If I don't start the day I decide to follow through on something, then I doubt I will start it at all.

I already started on my goal. Running. I am not a runner. I was never particularly athletic as a child. So why now?

I'm turning 40 this year. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I have a thing for tattoos, but I'm not getting one. So I thought to myself, how can I celebrate this milestone and still put my body through the ringer? Running. So this past fall I started to run.

Actually it was this past spring when I started considering it. Jared was training for his kid's marathon and participating in the running club at school. I was running with him and coaching him so he wouldn't fall apart. I started thinking that this was something I could maybe do and I had friends who were regular runners. There was a support system.

This fall I started running with a group. They get up early. We run and get home before the rest of our families are up. My routine usually includes watching the majority of the group disappear in front of me, but I have some great running buddies who stay with me and we carry on.

I've set some goals for this year; the big one being running a half marathon in the fall. I know it's something I can do if I train. I'm not writing it in stone, though. If I can run a 10k this year then I am happy.

There has been a therapeutic aspect to this running business too. So far I have not experienced injury and it's probably because I don't push myself too hard.....just hard enough to go a little further from time to time. I have some control in this activity. I can choose to overdo it or not. I can choose to get up to run or not. My improvements are dependent on me. If I fail to accomplish what I am setting out to do it will be on my shoulders for the most part.

The last few years I have often felt like life was out of my control. I don't like that. It goes against my nature. I can't control the fact that Jared has an ASD and all that goes with it. I can't change it or make it better. I can't control the fact that all my boys are growing up and getting more independent and sometimes lippy. I can't control what others around me choose to do when I so often think I have good suggestions and no one cares to listen or just disregards me.

Yes, I know I have control over my attitude. I don't need that lecture from anyone.

Running has made me feel like I have control over something and I'm not inflicting my control issues over anyone but myself. It's felt good. And this year I am turning 40......can't control aging either, but I do embrace this.

So this year I run. I will even pay money to run. Here's my money. Let me inflict some pain on myself!!!!!